With the toaster, never again would one be slave to the clock and the arbitrary decisions of corporate America run amuck. Multi-millionaire CEOs and Hamburgerologists forcing their despotic will with a 10:30 cutoff time for breakfast. Who wants a hamburger at 10:35, anyway?
To free myself from such tyranny, last week I ordered the toaster, yesterday it came in the mail. Last night I went to Kroger to assemble all of the ingredients necessary for my favorite breakfast item:
I added the proper amount of water for steam production.
I added an egg. (You’re supposed to break the yolk, thanks. I know how to crack an egg.)
And the Canadian Bacon.
And of course, the English muffin.
The toaster is designed so that all of the ingredients come out at the same time, so I patiently waited.
Four minutes later, I had my McMuffin, minus the Mc part. Would you like fries with that?
The resulting sandwich does have the same character and gooeyness that makes the Egg McMuffin my favorite breakfast item. Now all I’ll need is the Back to Basics Home Angioplasty Kit.