The ranks of the freaks…

As you might could tell from my last post, last night I went to the Aimee Mann concert at Cannery Row. The show was good, though I thought the stage set up was kind of strangely placed. That said, a good time was had by all.

There was this one guy wearing a “SPAMt-shirt as pictured to the right. At one point in the evening he passed in front of me, but I couldn’t help but to stick my arm out to keep him from passing.

Tim: “I’m sorry sir, you can’t go through here.”
Shirt guy: “Huh?”
Tim: “No, its OK. I just always wanted to be a spam-blocker.”

He didn’t think it was funny, either.

Last week, by the numbers…

Yes, it’s been a very light week for posting, here’s a numerological explaination why:

  • Hours turned in on my timesheet: 77
  • If my dog had turned in a timesheet, her hours at the office: 26 (that’s 182 in dog hours)
  • Number of days this week we’ve had a totally working A/C system: 0
  • Average temperature at my desk: 82�
  • Emails received: 184
  • Voicemails: 16
  • Projects due this coming Monday: 1 (a big one)
  • Babies born to people that I consider family: 1
  • Hours spent at the hospital waiting with the family: 8
  • Healthy baby boys born: 1
  • Statistics: 4:07 pm, 6 lbs., 19 inches
  • Babies I noticed in the nursery before Baby Ethan was born: 7 or so
  • Babies I noticed in the nursery after Baby Ethan was born: 1
  • Proud dads: 1
  • Proud moms: 1
  • Proud grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends: immeasurable
  • Houseguests at the condo this week related to baby: 4
  • Cainine houseguests at the condo related to the baby: 1
  • Pictures I took on Thursday related to baby: 175
  • Baby websites set up: 1
  • Meals eaten at my home: 0
  • Percentage of meals eaten at work: 85%
  • Percentage eaten at my desk while working: 66%
  • Fruit and Walnut Salads eaten from McDonald’s: 2
  • Fruit and Walnut Salads that actually contained walnuts: 1
  • Total overall subsequent “fruit buzz”: 50%
  • Aimee Mann concert tickets purchased: 2
  • Coldplay albums purchased: 1
  • Percentage of change of subsequent melancholy feeling: 33%
  • According to the single from the album, the speed birds go flying at: 761 mph (at sea level)

So it was a pretty busy week.

What’s Next?

Today one of the most tightly held national secrets was finally revealed. I think it’s good for persepctive’s sake to make a list of things we still don’t know:

  1. Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
  2. Did Oswald act alone?
  3. What will Bob Woodward say now when he’s trying to pick up a woman in a bar?
  4. Where is Osama bin Ladin?
  5. Did we really go to the Moon?
  6. What’s the deal with the Crazy Frog?
  7. How does Kevin Costner keep getting work? What about Celine Dion? Geraldo Rivera?
  8. Are there any copies of All the President’s Men available for rental in the Metro Nashville area tonight?
  9. What is Martinizing, and why does it only take one hour?

I’m a dental hypochondriac, evidently…

It started last week, on my way back from the airport. I opened my mouth in the rear view window and I noticed something that just didn’t look right on my back, left, upper molar. It looked dark, unhealthy, and not something you would want in your mouth. It started feeling different. Pulsating.

It’s weighed on my mind ever since.

I’ll admit, I haven’t been a regular dental office visitor in years. I brush, but don’t floss. (Why bother when you can Listerine?) I drink bottled water (when I drink water), so I’m not getting my fluoride like I should. I probably haven’t darkened the door of an office since I had my wisdom teeth out; I know I haven’t been since I’ve lived in Nashville. As Warren Zevon said about his cancer, “I may have made a tactical error in not consulting a physician for 20 years. That was one phobia that didn’t pay off.” I feared the worst.

This morning, not being able to stand it anymore, I asked around if anyone knew a good dentist. A quick google search revealed a phone number, I called about 9 and had an appointment for 10:20. I got there, filled out their forms. I don’t have dental insurance, which is fine because this particular dentist has a drive-up ATM in his parking lot.

They saw me almost immediately. I laid down in the chair, the hygenist person quickly grabbed her tools and went to work. I looked in her eyes trying to get a sense of the horrors that she was seeing. She was good, I got no tells. She’s played this game before.

Turns out it was a just a filling, one that I forgot I had. She said my teeth were fine. In fact, she said they were in great shape. I was embarassed. The pain was evidently all in my head. (Yes, I know even if was a toothache, the pain would be in my head, but still.)

I made an appointment for a cleaning, but I still couldn’t help but feel like Quiz Kid Donnie Smith from the movie Magnolia, heart full of love and mouth full of unnecessary dental treatments.

One thing that I did notice on the form was the field for “Emergency Contact.” It listed a place to put the contact name, telephone number, cell number, standard stuff…and email address. For the record, if you need me, you might try call my cell phone first.